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Archive for the ‘Films’ Category

For those of you who play Team Fortress 2, here’s something that you might enjoy. I’ve seen the real movie so maybe that’s why it’s funny. The whole thing is like…oh ok, but then when the title comes on at the end I literally died laughing. In fact, I’m a ghost right now typing this as my way to cross over. It’s pertinent i spread this.

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According to IGN, the 80’s animated cartoon ThunderCats is coming back!

In a press release, Warner brothers give a preview of the new storyline for the cartoon:

A sweeping tale combining swords and science and boasting ferocious battles with the highest of stakes, the grand origin story of Prince Lion-O’s ascension to the throne – and of those who would thwart his destiny at any cost – takes on epic dimensions in this sharp new telling. As the forces of good and evil battle each other in the quest for the fabled Stones of Power, Lion-O and his champions learn valuable lessons of loyalty, honor and mortality in every episode.

How do you feel about this? Is it an imaginative reinvention of an old series? or is it a destruction of an iconic cartoon because the entertainment industry is running out of good ideas?

I think it’s more of the latter. Here’s an idea, find some talent out there (it exists) and get some new ideas instead of looking in the “shit we’ve already done” bin and pulling out something that will be hard to top.

The Wide Angle

by Josh K. Lavender

So this is my first review column, and I regret to announce that I have been too overwhelmed in financial debacles to actually review any new releases. However, I believe where there’s a will…well, you know the rest.  As I have been too stretched as of late to actually travel to the nearby cinema and watch anything of pressing media interest in which to critique, I shall simply make my first article one of concern. Concern, that is, of an alarming trend in Hollyweird which is the latest fad of creating and releasing movies in 3-D. Or should I say, re-releasing movies in 3-D.

Sure, Avatar (that box office devouring story of Thanksgiving in space), could be filmed and created for an all immersive 3-D experience, but what about the other movies being slated for a “jump off the screen” makeover? For example, writer/director James Cameron has decided that since Avatar was such a commercial success then maybe he could reap similar profits by bringing back a former success and giving it an eye popping leg up.

His pitch is to re-release his 1997 epic Titanic in 2012 in 3-D. Really? James, really? I find it somewhat appalling to exploit human deaths on a true life tragedy by making their various demises “leap off the screen” for the sake of cheap thrills. Though one could argue that the film itself was an exploitation of tragedy from the beginning. Look, I know Kate Winslet & Leonardo DiCaprio weren’t really victims of the 1914 disaster, but I’m talking about the idea of people perishing in the event. The event was real. The ship did sink. And personally, I don’t think that it’s appropriate to recreate the events with a strictly thrill ride approach. It’d be like showing Schindler’s List or The Passion of the Christ in 3-D.

Suddenly, it wouldn’t be a joke. Look, reconstructing an awful historical event with a fictitious storyline to get your audience to connect with is one thing, but making a buck off it for the sake of making a buck is another thing
entirely. And on a final note, besides the disregard for respecting the dead, what are all the non-disaster scenes going to be like in 3-D? Here’s a bit of caviar coming your way–OOOOOOOH. I can almost bite it!…

…pleeease.

Given the recent shit that Hollywood has been churning ou in the name of profit and “safety” I can understand why they wouldn’t want their decisions to be criticized through the source they understand the most: Money.

The proposals the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission are expected to rule on this month would let movie fans, industry executives and speculators bet on expected box office receipts. Investors profit if their predictions come true and lose if they don’t.

So it’s like stock, but you’re betting on whether or not a movie is complete shit balls. This is what a representative of Hollywood had to say:

The studios’ trade group, the Motion Picture Association of America, argues that the proposals tarnish the reputation and integrity of the movie industry by authorizing “legalized gambling on movie receipts.”

Tarnish the reputation? You’ve done that many times over by allowing movies like Gigli to be made and by coming up with these constant shitty remakes and sequels to movies that should have died LONG ago only so you can make money off of not having an original idea or the balls to pursue one. With the money you took to make a big box office flop you could have funded maybe two or three independent movies that had just as much, if not more of a chance of doing better simply because it’s shit people haven’t seen already. Yeah people want recognizable faces but I swear to god if I see Jennifer Aniston in another Romantic comedy… put her in a horror or something, change it up.

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ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Wow, I mean, I realize Hollywood is pressed for ideas since it isn’t exactly in their nature to take big risks for the sake of … I don’t know, entertainment.

But Scream 4? Didn’t that franchise die out in the late 90’s? Apparently not.

The “Screamhorror film franchise got a shout out from its makers on Tuesday when they unveiled a new, fourth movie in the series that has scared up more than $500 million at global box offices.

Dimension Films said Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and her husband David Arquette will reprise their roles for “Scream 4,” which will be written by Kevin Williamson and directed by horror master Wes Craven. The movie is expected to land in theaters on April 15, 2011.

Fucking stupid. Seriously. Perhaps Hollywood should grow some fucking balls and look for NEW material as opposed to recycling the same piece of shit it’s been churning out.

I get it, good material is hard to find with a slew of Jimmy Joe’s and Horticai Johnson’s that are creating screenplays about skateboarding dogs with heart and single mother’s with chainsaw’s attached to their arms, but that doesnt mean to stop looking.

It doesn’t mean to give up and just pull out an old peice of paper from an old and dusty hat.

Seriously.

Is anyone interested in this? Am I the only one who thinks this is a stupid idea? Will you go see Scream 4?

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With the recent debut of  FREAKNIK: The Musical,Adult swim has taken the time to celebrate its contributions to rap before Freaknik apparently shits all over the rap game, and tells the rap game to clean itself up while Freaknik goes for a cigarette.

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“Twilight video game absence has ‘cost millions'”

The lack of a Twilight video game has wasted the opportunity to make “millions”, according to analysts.

“Given how hot the property  is, [a Twilight video game] could easily present a seven-figure exploitation opportunity, especially if publishers consider taking it beyond retail gaming and considers network gaming.
It may well be that the rights holders aren’t aware of the potential benefits because they haven’t explored the games market before.”

He hit it right on the nail. It’s not about creating a game that people will like or that will stand on it’s own in the current gaming arena, it’s about exploiting people stupid enough to buy the game simply because they saw the movie and said “Well I liked the movie, the game must be awesome.”

Since when has that ever been the case? A game based off of a movie has, in my experience, never been equally as good OR better than the movie itself. Except the first Shrek game for the Original Xbox. Sure it was a kids game but it was a pretty sweet kids game. Just saying.

It’s all about making money, can’t blame them after all these people are businesses and not artists. The real artists slave behind closed doors to make a shitty idea somewhat good and sometimes amazing. But a Twilight game? I said they were Artists, not Jesus.

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